# 02.04.2010

Been struggling with works and unstable emotional for the past few days and hoping for a relaxing friday where she can go for a movie to pamper myself but things turn out to be worse than i thought. Spent rm20 on the movie ticket but couldn't watch it. Feeling so hopeless.

What is my happiest moment?

Posted this on FB yesterday.

I realized I'm indeed happy seeing the feedbacks.

but

What is my happiest moment.

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What i can think of now is ..

When i dance like nobody business.

Please dont get heart attack. Those aint me. lol.

I miss the time I dance in UTAR. I miss the time putting on my Ballet shoe.

I just miss dancing.

To me, dancing is like your soul has been pulled out from your physical body moving with the rhythm played blending with mixed feelings.

(sounded like a recipe pulak)

UTAR

The first image came to my mind after watching this video ....

is

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This.

Taken during our graduation trip to Pulau Perhentian.

Miss them. Miss school. Miss the fun and the joy we had together.

<3

David's birthday

We went to this Japanese restaurant @ Jaya 1.

they serve all sorts of beer

I've ordered this

Happy Birthday Handsome boy. =P

Yam seng! *gulp gulp*

Good bear.

oit. Why take my beer.

#$Y@$#@*$(#@

2 days before my birthday

I have this thinking that I am going to get crazee this weekend but it was unexpectedly happened the other way round. I have this very ..... weekends. Everyone just seems too busy for me. Have the thought that I can celebrate my birthday in advance with the people I love to hang out with.

But nevermind. Yes, I am abit sad. But nevermind. Will keep telling myself not to mind. It is just a birthday anyhow. I'm going to have this day again next year. And I can get crazee, not now but next year. Is just a matter of time right? :)

.Perhaps.

Is time to stay at home and do some thinking. Its been a while the last time I really have time for myself, reading books, do some serious blogging, spend time in saloon and shopping mall alone and stepping into the kitchen and made my favourite dish.

One mistake I made in my life actually changed the whole me.

I met up with my ex-housemate/ex-classmate/bff/pillowmate this morning. I'm glad that I actually said out a secret that I been hiding/keeping all the while. It is such a release. Thou it has nth to do with her. Nth to with you. Only me. It has been the worst nightmare I had. The one that have been haunting me for a year. For a whole damn year.

I still remember I cried in the middle of the night and went to look for a best friend of mine. And poof~ the night life of mine begin .... in a improper way ( if only drinking and dancing are improper) .. but happy. happy enough to at least put those sad love songs aside.

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I was on my way back today using DUKE.

Saw Genting Highland from far and how much I wish that I am there at the moment.

Feeling the breeze wiping trough my face.

Breathing in the cooling fresh air.

Sipping a cup of hot chocolate.

Listening to jazz.

Looking at the twinkling light.

hmmm..

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How much I wish that I am smilling now. Genuine one.

3 days before my birthday

Today...

I wish I can be with someone who can understand me without saying it all out.

Without saying ..

- How much I've enjoyed my day.

- How much I am so sad over some silly thing

- How much I want to be alone

- How much ... the list goes on ...

The only one I met so far is ...

my mom.

She can see it tru my eyes.

Sad .. Happy ..

She will be there for me.

Not in a way hugging or screaming for joy ...

but is some other special way ...

I can feel ...

The warm she has been pouring since the day I'm here.

Here on earth.

if only ...

there's man here could make me feel the same.

But not as in motherly love.

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Why do I ...

always wish for impossible.

Million thanks to THE CHEE

for locking me inside to keep me safe from the dangerous world out there

for breaking into my house and now breaking out from my house.

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but fail

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so

make urself free on the 9th Jan.

We want to punish you.

See ya.