When was the last day i posted here? Seriously .. anyone still reading my blog? yuhuuu .. anyone?hmm..somehow I do feel good that no one is actually reading it .. Feel like writing some unnecessary post today..so, Pardon me.

I just came back from a pub celebrating my bf's ex birthday. Suppose to be a happy night .. well .. im not sad either now .. just ... just ... some kind of mixed feeling ... How should I say... 

We started the celebration with a dinner at some isolated thai restaurant .. everything went fine there .. is just lil torturing during the dinner, coz 15 people has to fit into a table .. can u imagine? everyone was like "canned sardine". After that we decided to have a drinking session .. struggling which pub to go as we cannot please everyone with suggested places. Finally we went to a place that we go very often.

There, I ordered a Peach Margarita .. was a good drink as i seriously dont feel like drinking tonight. Had a bad head pain. Everyone was enjoying .. chit chating .. playing cards. And then came the fixed feeling i had.

He came to me asking if he can buy his ex a drink as a birthday present. So i said .. why not? So,he ordered a bottle of tequila .. everyone took at least a shot.. For those unlucky ones... maybe more ... now .. everyone is tipsy ... can see some started to move around .. dancing .. making stupid faces .. including me ? well ... im still sober .. but i try to blend into the group.

Everyone down their own tequila ...  tequila has finished .. he ordered jagermeister this time ... asking her to push the shooter into the mixer ... i can see how much he wanted his ex to be happy  tonight. i can see how tonight he gets closer and closer to his ex .. i can even see how he touches her hips ... and her hand ... like holding hands... standing so close to each other, talking ... 

problem? yea .. hmmm .. not really ... 

What really bother me is .. I don't feel angry ..  no idea why .. I just feel lil sad .. yes .. bit sad... Perhaps i already know for like decades, that she is one of the exes that he really loves ... used to love alot? hmmm .. 

at the same time .. his ex's bf came n drink with me. I wonder he saw the same thing? What did he see? Things i saw? Whats on his mind ...? 

Nothing can be done. so, forget it n drink !

 Too many questions in my head. So i decided to write it down, thinking if i could look for answers to the questions tonight. 

well ... He is drunk .. for quite some time i have never seen him making himself thisssssssss drunk. Not even on our birthday. 

Goodnight world. Its 415am. 

#11/11/2010

I guess I'm losing the fun of going to clubs.

Last night i was warned by like thousand of people not to drink so much. Coz im like a magnet which will cause every bad things in the world to happened. (im like the most sober ger that night)

Going to club now indeed increases my stress.

i was : -

-warned not to drink so much

-saw some unwanted scene. sit and stare somewhere else.

-looking for excuses to leave the clubs like temaning ppl to gents/ladies

-i was said that im not tipsy. how on earth i can be tipsy by not drinking !!!!!!

FML FML FML FML !!!!!

No idea wtf im posting here.

!@^#&*(

I still cant get it.

Why do people say things that they cant do.

Hate empty promises. Like seriously.

If you cant do what you've said, just admit it.

Stop giving me millions of excuses n stop asking me to wait.

Just admit like a man !

If you are feeling guilty reading this..

Yes..

I hate you.

Say me bitch.

but u r eh jerk !!

Untitled #1

Whenever it feels like crying.. bolster is all I have. 

#25.07.2010

Have anyone warn you about falling in love?

M.I.A

Will be away for a moment.

But before that, I want to make a shout out.

Happy anniversary to Joyce Woo Ling Ling! And Happy birthday. I love YOuuuuuuuuuu !!!!

Thanks for reading.

Down

.Lurve.