Random #01042009

Did you ever hear from somewhere or someone said that, “when you feel pain, it means you are still alive.”


So I was thinking, is this bad or is this good. Some people don’t want to feel pain so they committed suicide. On the other hand, someone who appreciate life, they tried their very best to stand strong to fight the pain. Any pain whether is pain in body or pain in heart. I guess anyone of us has seen in the news paper that man or women committed suicide because of love, financial, etc some committed suicide because they got a disease that couldn’t be cured.


Take this as an example, a patient in the hospital lying so sick because of a final phase killing disease. The patient’s love ones tried their very best to find a way to cure the pain. Pay tons of cash, to look for the best doctor, find the best medical treatment in this world or anyways that could cure like sending them to Chinese sinseh, acupuncture or whatever. However, the patient who is suffering the sickness was actually so sick, couldn’t stand the pain indeed. He or she doesn’t want to stand the pain anymore infact he or she want to find a way to just lessen the pain or get rid of the pain by taking drug to end his or her life instead of going trough a long and painful process of extending their life but couldn’t actually cure the disease. So here’s a conflict between bad or good.


Put the situation above aside. Have you ever think about ending your life when you met certain situation that you wouldn’t want to face, or you cant stand the pain and just want to do something just to end everything. I know this sound a bit immature, totally immature indeed, but there are still forums and groups form to discuss the topic of getting suicide. I’m not sure whether is this forum still existing, but I’m sure u can find it by googling it.


I am once a girl who thinks of killing myself. This happened when I was still a young little girl. I have no idea why I thought of killing myself but I believe it must be some sad/bad things happened. I’m actually happy that I couldn’t recall some of the bad memories happened an I’m glad I’m still alive here and standing strong after each bad things happened on me. I can still feel pain. I’m glad. Very glad. Although its really painful going trough lots of unbearable pain, unpredictable pain, I still believe every pain behind has a bit of reason for you to go on with your life. No one would be happy when you just jump down from eighth floor. (why 8th?, because I’m staying in 8th floor) absolutely not your family and love one, not your friends, not those people who knows your, not even your enemy. but perhaps your debtor.


To tell you the truth, I have actually no idea what to write about because this is so debatable, I can simply grab someone around me now that has opinions against mine. But I don’t really feel like ending this post abruptly. Before I stop this topic I just want to say, there are things that difficult to solve but not impossible, thou it is near impossible, just think hard and stand strong. Look for advice. Don’t lock yourself in the room and hide yourself from problems. One couldn’t think properly when one is nervous or one is under pressure. Go look for someone to talk to. Do not keep it to yourself. You will get crazy. You will get really mad about yourself. Just be brave and step out from your room and head to someone you trust and talk to them. It seriously helps. I’m saying this because I have the experience not that I’m trying to act like a super girl who knows everything. I’m not a psychic. Couldn’t predict things. Couldn’t even predict what will happen to me in the next hour. I might just walk out being hit by a car. Or something might just fall down from the sky and hit me. But wtf. Everything happens for a reason. If u die you always die for a reason. No reason for you to blame god. Just think positive. One day you will realize how powerful is being optimism.



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Above was not a joke thou I’m writing this on April fool. Because today is April fool, and I was so boring not being pranked by anyone, and I hope god wouldn’t have planned any prank on me by really getting a car to hit me once I stop out from this restaurant. And I was really sick for more than a week. I think it affects my brain a little which leads me to writing this dumb and nonsense blog.



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